La Opinion Featured Article: Tips to be a ‘cool’ mom by Apryl Schlueter
I was featured in an article by La Opinion where I gave five key tips that allow modern mothers to achieve the best relationship with their children, spouses and any other person.
Click here to read the article in Spanish. You can read the article in English (translated to the best of my ability!) below:
Tips to be a ‘cool’ mom
Life coach offers five key tips that allow modern mothers to achieve the best relationship with their children, spouses and any other person
Being a mother is one of the most extraordinary experiences of life, but at the same time one of the most exhausting for those who do not know how to balance their lives among the different roles that today’s modern mother faces.
This is well known motivator and certified life coach Apryl Zarate Schlueter, based in Chicago and linked to The Cheerful Mind, Inc., who after entering several professions in pursuit of her professional realization realized that happiness is achieved finding the balance between the responsibilities of all facets of life.
The author of the book “Finding Success in Balance: My Journey to the Cheerful Mind” and mother of two, assures that to achieve that balance it is essential to learn certain strategies that allow establishment of strong relationships with others.
And to become a “cool” mom, Zarate Schlueter offers these five general tips that promote that improvement of relationships from the perspective of the role of mother.
1. Be authentic
“As a mother it is important that you be authentic and true to yourself for several reasons,” says the life coach. “First of all, because it takes a lot more time (something that moms do not frequently have!) to be someone who you are not. And second, when you are your authentic self, you naturally attract those who are more in alignment with who you are. As a result, we can have more enjoyable relationships with these people.”
In other words, being inauthentic puts you at risk to experience more conflict and confusion.
2. Understand the effects of misinterpretation
It is well known that in any relationship – either with children, spouses, friends, colleagues or other people – there are moments of misunderstanding that can damage relationships if they are not resolved.
To be an strong mom in this aspect, Zarate Schlueter says that “you have to be aware that every person comes with their own specific filters of how they view the world” and this means that, despite having the best intentions in any action or opinion, the message may still be received incorrectly by the other person.
“It never hurts to take that extra step to make sure that you and the person receiving the message are on the same page [that is, aligned in our way of seeing life],” explains the motivator. “Also keep this in mind when you are the one receiving a message. Before jumping to any conclusion, we must question whether their action or opinion is aligned with their way of being.”
By understanding the dynamics of the effects of misinterpretations, we save energy by avoiding the creation of conflicts and potential dramas that can occur in any type of relationship.
3. Understand that relationships evolve and change
Zarate Schlueter says that “while it would be good to assume that long-term relationships will remain stable over time,” the reality is that as each individual grows and assumes more experiences in life, “situations and priorities change and as a result, they can affect a relationship between two or more people.”
“As a parent, you may see this most likely with your significant other, as life without kids is definitely different from what it was like prior,” emphasizes the expert.
And to avoid conflicts in the relationship with children who have already grown up, “it is important to recognize that growth and change are part of the relationship process, and to continue growing together, it is essential to constantly reflect and reassess priorities and perspectives as a team in order to maintain the strong relationship between mother and children.”
4. Be direct and clear in communication
As a mother, the life coach assures that communication with the children and husband should be direct and clear, that is, transparent.
“I believe that the more you [as a mother] can communicate to others why a particular request you have is necessary (as an example, why you need help from your kids and spouse to do chores), it fosters better communication and conflicts are avoided,” specifies the expert.
Speaking clearly to the needs of support and help positively impacts the communication and relationship of mother to children and husband, since, in general, they do not always have the intuitive ability to ask, “what can I help you with?” when obviously, mom is up to her neck and very stressed with all the chores of the house.
5. Love and trust in yourself
“This is the most important piece of advice I can give to every mother,” emphasizes Zarate Schlueter. “The work of a mother is very hard and many feel guilty of not being able to fulfill all their obligations to perfection while trying to juggle between the care of all members of the family in addition to themselves.”
“But the mother, instead of blaming herself, needs to love herself, but this is difficult to do when one is feeling guilty about not being good enough in all facets of the role of mother. Therefore, I encourage every mother to get rid of that guilt and feel good enough and deserving of the best, since no mother is perfect, “says the life coach.
This feeling of self-worth is essential to achieve happiness as a mother. “Just by choosing motherhood, you are contributing to the world in so many wonderful ways.”
And the key to loving herself is “to trust in herself and feel that she is an incredible mother.”
“When one begins to give more and more love to oneself, relationships improve in a wonderful way,” says Zarate Schlueter.