The (not-so-) secret to thriving relationships

Happy February!

I don’t think it’s a secret, but there is one main key to thriving relationships, and that is effective communication. So this week, I want to help you do a quick reflection on your communication style. There are many questions I can ask, but I want to focus on this question right now: how are you interpreting the messages you receive?

It’s one thing to clearly communicate your thoughts, beliefs, and points of view, but even more important to have awareness around how people might interpret what you’re saying. And since we all are unique and awesomely different, we grow up with different filters of how we view the world. Take this simple example:

This is a little twitter conversation with me and one of my really great friends, Gary Ware, of Breakthrough Play.
I received this while I was skiing last weekend. Look at the last response. How did you interpret this conversation?

Maybe I was having a brain fart, but the way I read it, at first (and maybe second, third) glance, I thought he was calling me a “dull girl.”
Now, I know Gary would never do this. But I had thoughts like, “Am I talking to someone who hacked his account?” “Was that a typo?” I literally had to send him this screenshot and asked him if that conversation looked right, until I FINALLY realized that he was saying that if I only worked and never played, I would be dull. Mind you, this was THREE days after the initial conversation that I interpreted the message in the way I believe he intended.

Think about the power of this. What if the words you are saying, where you absolutely mean well, aren’t actually being received correctly? What type of emotions might that cause for the person you’re speaking to? How might that respond, and how will you receive that? It can start a chain reaction in a direction you never imagined. I’ve experienced quite a few broken relationships over scenarios like this, and I’m guessing you probably have as well.

So this week, I want you to have awareness around your communication, and your own interpretation. Are you getting the right meaning across to your friends and colleagues? Are you interpreting messages you are receiving the right way? Think about the words you say and hear, the text messages and emails you send and receive, even evaluate body language.

Think about it, and I’ll catch you with more goodies next week!