AHHHHHHHH!

That’s been the one word that’s been constantly coming out of my mouth just about every hour, of every day lately. My book is coming out in SIX DAYS! While I’m super excited, I’m also extremely scared and nervous.

I’d been a pretty private person before I launched The Cheerful Mind, Inc. The people who have known me well for a long time know me deeply, and while I’m rather transparent with people I meet, it also takes some time for me to crack my shell and open up. But on Tuesday, that’s going away. I’m letting out some of the most vulnerable parts of my life and story into this book and it’s going to be available for literally ANYONE to read.

This is scary. I’m going to be judged. And I know it’s not going to all be in my favor. I might acquire some haters along the way as I share my message. I feel the anxiety of this big next step as a knot in my mid-back. I have NO idea what’s going to result on the other side.

One unique thing about this book is that to date, the only people who have had access to the book are my husband, and my support team (editors, marketing team, publicity team, assistants). Normally, people send free copies of their books out for reviews ahead of time, but I opted out of that. I spent the last 19 months keeping the book contents under wraps and to myself. I didn’t read any other books while I wrote. I didn’t ask people to give me ideas to write about. Why? Because I cared about coming across authentically. I didn’t want this book to be like other books you’ve read. I wanted you to see the real me and the way I think. So, this can go well, or it can flop….

To be completely transparent, I’ve sold 52 books (at the time I write this) before it’s been available to the public, without any heavy promotion, and any inkling of knowledge of what’s truly in the book. I think that’s pretty darn cool. (And if you’re one of the 52, I seriously LOVE and appreciate you! You have no idea!) I’m hoping to focus on getting 100 copies sold, then 500, then 1000, and we’ll see where it goes from there.

I’m not even really sure what my family and close friends will think of this book. They’re all waiting in anticipation to see what I wrote (and maybe curious to see if I mentioned them – haha!). What if they don’t like the opinions I share in the book? What if I come across differently as they already see me? What if they’re disappointed in what I did or didn’t share? I’m very, very nervous.

Next time you hear from me, I’ll be a legit, PUBLISHED author (insert scream here). I may not always share my fears out loud, but they’re definitely there. The silence surrounding my noisy mind right now is painful. Yet, at the same time, I have to be proud that I accomplished something that many people dream about. And I took it from concept to product in 19 months, a written labor of love without a background in writing, just a good old engineering mind.

My new normal begins in six days. I can’t wait to share it with you. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

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